Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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