I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
