now i know why i became what i already was.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
