you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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