My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
