ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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