party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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