Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
