But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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