I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
