i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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