Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
