Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
