just tell him i said nine months
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Boobs speak an international language.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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