is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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