If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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