Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
