He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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