We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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