Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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