Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
