Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
