The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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