i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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