like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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