Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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