Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
