i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
