i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
