Me too!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
