If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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