wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
