I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
