Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize