bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
