we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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