the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize