I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I faked an abortion last night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
