Sry I called you an 8
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
