Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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