why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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