whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
