you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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