I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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