dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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