Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
