This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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