Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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