We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize