Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
