I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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