do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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