sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
