he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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