More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize