your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
