the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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