If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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