I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
