So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
they're like a gay fantastic four
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
