What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
