I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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