don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
