He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
