i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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