I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
