I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm having to shit out rocks
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
