I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize