her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I touched a dick in church today
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