Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
