Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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