she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
