Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she peed on how many people?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
